Blackout Number 999

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I don't know how I got here.

My weekend started out with plans for a great time.  Friday night - Happy Hour with friends.   Half price drinks, free munchies and cute girls.  Saturday - a day in the park, drinking beer, hanging out with friends, and playing Frisbee with my dog.  Saturday night - a date and a concert. After the date, the night is still young - so off to a club to listen to more music.  Alcohol, cocaine, more alcohol, cocaine, lots more alcohol . . . when I awake I do not know where I am or how I got here.  

I have been having "so much fun" in my blackout - that I do not remember:

* Throwing up on myself

* Getting into a fight 

* Having my car towed

* Losing my way home

* Sleeping in the alley next to a bunch of trash

As I replay the weekend events . . . I remember thinking I was ready for a GREAT weekend.  I believed I was in total control.  I have crossed limits with my partying in the past.  This time I did not think I would go "over the limit."  

Truth is, I have never had a limit.  

I party like a rock star . . . . until I pass out.  I have been doing this for years.  And I have been thinking I can "handle it." 

I cannot "handle it."  Many times I have woken up and not remembered the night before. I have blackouts.  This time it was different.  This time I woke up in the streets and I had no recollection of how I got there.  Where was my car?  Did I drive myself or get a ride?  Who was I with? Did I hurt anyone? 

I woke up alone with people passing me by on the streets.  I felt like dirt.  

I asked myself, is this the kind of life I want?  

My head hurts. I have barf on my shirt.  

I do not remember how I got here.  

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired . . . is there any way out? 

Will this ever end?

I remember it is Sunday . . . Grandma is in church today.  

People are praying on Sunday. 

I cry out to God in my desperation . . . . 

"Jesus Help me!"

If you can relate to this story, and are ready to make a change, there is hope and there is help.  For more information on addiction or to set up a free consultation check us out at:

www.stages2change.com